On the 28th, I had to present myself again before a medical board. This time, I was not insulted, screamed at or any other crazy stuff I’ve experienced with them before. However, I was told Social Security would stop paying me my sick leave very soon. They also said that I should consider disability retirement. There’s only one thing about disability retirement: I don’t want it, and Social Security doesn’t give it to people who live with fibromyalgia, no matter how much it impacts their lives.
I sent an email to a Portuguese fibromyalgia association the day after this. They told me exactly what I already suspected: they’re stalling me. To me, this is the best-case scenario. The worst-case scenario is they want to force me to go through a hellish experience (another one…), so they can have an excuse to stop paying me the sick leave.
If they stop, I won’t have a way to pay for my medication and the monthly appointments, and that means getting worse than I already am. Getting back to work is impossible: sitting on the dining table to eat is already a too painful experience, let alone sitting for four hours at work. Today is an example: I had to eat in a hurry because I couldn’t stand sitting in the chair.
People with a good support network won’t feel much of the impact of having their paid sick leave not being paid. I, however, will feel it very hard. I don’t have wealthy parents; I’m not rich either: I’m just someone who wants to control this just enough to get back to work and live a normal as possible life.
If you have the bad luck of suffering from a fucked up disease/syndrome, the state institutions that should help you will only be there for a small amount of time. After that, they give you a “fuck you very much”.
image from Unsplash
