Some of the memories I have from my childhood and teenage years have in common that I never ran out of energy, like the Duracell bunny. During summer, It was usual for my colleagues from my home town and me to play futsal for more than four straight hours. Playing a whole morning and an entire afternoon was also not uncommon, just like going to parties after the matches to get drunk and playing another futsal match the next day wasn’t too.
I have fond memories of that time. And, I admit, envy from back when I appeared to have all the energy in the world and then some more. Those were lovely times - writes Bruno nostalgically as he also reminisces about Bonanza and Leave It To Beaver.
As you get older, it’s expected your energy decreases bit by bit - age is unforgiving. A 40-year-old usually doesn’t have an amount of energy as big as a 20-year-old. There are DNA damages, issues with gene expression, the body’s energy “machinery” starts to work less and less, and so on. Business Insider has a great article about this.
What is not expected is to wake up completely tired - as one would be after running a marathon or two - at 38 years old. Yet, this is how I have been waking up some days every week since July last year when the fibromyalgia symptoms started. To make matters worse, when this happens, I have to stay still in bed, so the pain level decreases just enough to be able to move my body without screaming in agony.
Besides several other meds to supposedly help me manage the pain, tiredness, brain fog and other symptoms, I take 200mg of tramadol twice every day: one at breakfast and another before bed. As far as I know, this is the maximum allowed dosage for this opioid. Yet, I’m always in pain 24/7, with the pain level being higher when I wake up feeling more exhausted than I usually am.
At one time, I didn’t take the tramadol pills to see if the pain level would be the same as when I took them. It didn’t go well. I was in so much more pain that I could barely walk, and moving my body in any way caused me enormous pain.
Also, part of my meal of pills is antidepressants. These supposedly help with fatigue, tiredness, brain fog and a few other symptoms. One of them is a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor, and the other is a tricyclic antidepressant. I’ve read somewhere that a patient should either take one or the other, not the two simultaneously. Yet, I take them simultaneously, but, honestly, I don’t see much effect.
My energy level starts at -50% when I wake up and goes downhill from there until I sleep (if I’m able to, that is). Sometimes I feel frustrated to always be like this: I can’t help the wife with most of the household tasks or even none on the worst days, I can’t help my parents if they need help with some heavy labour, and I also can’t help my in-laws with their agriculture duties.
I have tried meditation and breathing exercises to see if I can get some relief. So far, nothing worked, pills included. Someday, maybe I’ll find something that works for me. Until that day comes, it’s -50% of energy and decreasing throughout the day.
Image from Unsplash
