People living with chronic pain often hear things that are beyond irritating and/or demeaning. If we show disappointment or try to explain to people how that’s irritating or belittling, we get dismissed. It seems like they think they know more about this than we, the ones who live with it.
If you have a friend, a family member, or anyone in your circle of friends or family living with chronic pain, you should know that there are things you should avoid saying to them.
What to avoid saying to someone with chronic pain
Don’t say our pain isn’t as bad as we say
We are the ones living with it. How the fuck would you know what it’s like to live in constant pain and how intense it is?! You don’t know, so stop saying stupid shit, you moron!
Have you tried random idiot shit?
Don’t you think we have tried everything we could remember to decrease the pain?! We don’t like living in constant pain. And no, eating or drinking whatever “superfood” you believe solves every health issue will not solve it. Don’t you think it would be known by now!? Use your brain once in your life, god damn it!
Don’t get mad at us because we can’t attend an event
If we say that we can’t attend an event, even at the last minute, don’t try to make us feel guilty: we’re already feeling guilty! Do you think it’s easy to be forced to stay at home because we are always in fucking pain?! Grow the fuck up, you stupid child!
Don’t compare your one-time pain with 24/7 pain
If you had something that caused you a lot of pain, I’m sorry to hear that, but don’t compare it to being 24/7 in pain. You have no idea the physical and mental strain this causes and how your comparison sounds like belittlement.
Don’t treat us with pity
Don’t do it. Just don’t. We don’t want pity, we want you to understand our limitations.
photo from Unsplash
